This was significant because my ex hated RPGs – she thought they were the stupidest things ever and couldn’t imagine anyone she dated wanting to play them.
She also didn’t care for them because it meant I was spending time with my friends and not with her (warning sign #2) – but this time she relented and .
The two-faced smilers who would be pleasant to people’s faces but had no problem cutting them down when their back was turned.
How many times have you had someone – a friend, a lover, even family – pull a guilt-trip on you?
I had been there for less than an hour before she showed up to quite literally drag me away (warning sign #3).
I forget what the excuse was, but it was some “togetherness” emergency – I had to go shopping with her for some trivial thing or other. In fact, that phrase – “I let her” – defined the majority of our relationship.
When I look back at my bad old days, there’re a number of things that stand out as emblematic of who I was – the fear of letting go of a bad relationship because I didn’t think I could do any better, being unable to relax and enjoy my time with one woman because I couldn’t stop looking for the shoe to drop… But there is one very specific night that, to my mind, was one of the most representative of how bad things were.
I had gotten permission from my girlfriend at the time (warning sign #1) to go play in a Mage campaign with my friends.
Both men and women are equally capable of having weak boundaries and low self-esteem…
No further.” The lack of belief in yourself feeds into an insidious self-perpetuating cycle.
It’s hard to stand up for yourself when you believe that you have very little of value to offer in the first place – something that is reinforced by the way that people walk over you and take advantage of you.
He was consistently testing her boundaries, trying to find some way to get her to sacrifice her values in an attempt to please him; her way that people will take advantage of poor boundaries.
Anyone who remembers high-school will likely recall that one toxic friend who would steam-roll over others in order to get his or her way; anyone who resisted was subject to inordinate amounts of social pressure – trying to utilize the social contract to push others into doing what he or she wanted.
As a result, I became the sort of person who was very good at finding excuses for why things had gone wrong – it wasn’t Why would I do this?